I'm sure you have heard the expression that you "reap what you sow." Well this has become even more evident to me in the last couple of weeks. Now that I am unofficially "single" if you will, things have been pretty calm. Like I said before, I spend most of my time with my ever-growing extended "tamly" (Phillip's word for Family...too cute right?) I have been pretty focused on work, since I will be leaving again this summer, headed back to Ft. Knox. And, at home, when I am there for more than ten minutes, I am cleaning or loving on my Dini-dog!
I was just talking to Jen last night about how since March I have been going like a crazy super-woman, and pretty much have some event every weekend from now until I leave. And, I am really feeling blessed, although most times rushed, by my new busy life.
But, last weekend I had a melt-down. I knew it was coming, I had felt it for weeks. Not sure if it was because I was tired from all the running around, or just emotions that I thought I had overcome, but I couldn't hold back anymore. I cried like a baby. Total, sniffling, snotting, all the weight of the world on my shoulders tears. Luckily, my buddy Sylvia called and talked it out with me for almost an hour. I have always been able to count on people to listen when I need it.
And, then it occurred to me that I didn't have to feel responsible for anything or anyone but myself. And, if you know me, that is so not how I roll. I'm usually just piled up by doing and giving and loving until I am out of breath. But, I remembered that all God wants me to do is sow the seed of love, and set back and watch it grow.
Danny has been going through some rough times this last month, and my first reaction was to jump up and fix it all. I know it's not my place anymore, so all I can do is just pray, ask others to pray, and let God work. I have given him a lot of seeds, and even if he doesn't know it, all he needs is God's help to water them and watch his life blossom as mine has.
Love is such a tricky game sometimes, and I am just so thankful that God's love is unconditional and always forgiving. Last Sunday in church in Knoxville, TN the lesson was that we should look with our hearts and not our eyes in order to be more like God. My heart has been heavy for quite a while, and I am ready to let go of it all.
Until next time, may all the seeds that you planted grow lovely and strong. Even if you are not there to see them in full bloom, God will be there to make sure they continue to blossom.
