A Relationship Mechanic

For those of you that know me and my current situation, I need not elaborate. Let's just say that a change has finally come, and I am letting go of someone and something I have been holding tight for over 3 years. And, just like my weight loss efforts, this isn't the first time I have attempted this endeavor. In my last relationship, I learned a very valuable life lesson about what damages can be caused when you constantly put someone else's needs before your own.

As children of God, we are supposed to be genuine in our desires to help others. But, just like food, there is a limit to what we can digest in our daily lives. When I met Danny, I was really proud to say that I had been single and working on myself for about 6 months. I had begun my weight loss journey, began cleaning up my "Darryl debt", and was positive that I would never fall into another unhealthy relationship.

But, what is the true definition of a good or bad relationship? I guess everyone's level of tolerance is different. I am a giver. I'm not ashamed to admit it. In every situation I see that change that can occur, and work diligently to help make those hopes of change become a reality. And, it doesn't seem to matter how many times I hear the words, "you can't change people Michelle, unless they are willing to change themselves." Still, I continue to push for these impossible changes in people with the same results.

And, this is where I end up. Exhausted, and looking back saying, "how in the world did I let myself get into this situation?" And, the only answer is I have myself to blame for setting such high expectations of people who never had my best interest at heart. Life is not a fairy tale by any means, but through my process and pain, I have still lived and experienced wonderful memories I want to keep. And, for each relationship and each valuable lessons, I am eternally grateful.

Humans fear change, and I am no different. I have made a decision this time that is going to impact my life in a huge way. And, honestly, I'm not really sure how I feel about it all. Kind of numb right now...